Practical Uses for a Pineapple
- Paperweight (needs to be replaced when ripe)
- Bookends (see above)
- Hat (with strap)
- Weapon for self-defense – throw or use to ward off
- Halloween costume
- Play football when you do not have a football lying around
- Accepted as barter at many stores and restaurants
- Replace wheels on broken rolling chairs
- Stand for iPad/tablet
- Doorstop (maybe need more than one)
- Create delicious pineapple upside-down cake……fail when you realize that it is far too complicated
- Rum drinks
- Find a hill and have pineapple races. Place bets on your favorite!
- Carry it around and refer to it as your lucky pineapple
- Glue to a large pair of headphones and create a fashion statement

Special thanks to Andrew Valente for his quirky world view.